Losing God in Jerusalem

Losing God in Jerusalem

Reblogging as I want to share this. This brought a gambit of emotions up inside me.

Coffee Shop Rabbi

Image: A human shadow against a wall of Jerusalem stone. This image appears with Rabbi Nafshi’s article in Lilith.

Every now and then I read something and all I can think is, “Darn, I wish I’d written that.”

My colleague Rabbi Robin Nafshi has published an exquisite essay on the Lilith blog, Losing God in Jerusalem.

I encourage you to click the link and read it. I’m not going to spoil it for you by saying more.

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Oh the questions…

I have mentioned in the past how I am a bit of an alchemist. download  This has a story behind it.  In 2010 I started to get really sick.  It started with heart symptoms, and just dissolved from there.  I collected a new symptom about every other month for about 3 years.  After that, The symptoms still came but the rate slowed from which they came.  For three years while we were in Denver I saw every specialist the Army sent me to, but I changed primary doctors every three to six months because the army brought in and changed out my primary manager that often because…, well…, the army sucks that’s just army life. After three years I was continuously told that nothing was wrong with me, that it was either all in my head, I was making it up for attention, or I was just tired because I had special needs kids, and my husband was a soldier.  The doctors with the latter opinion always handed me a sleeping pill prescription.

By 2013 I had moved to Indiana.   Shortly after moving to Indiana in 2013 I started losing my mobility.  By August of 2013, I was reduced to using a walker and was mostly bed ridden.  About that time I realized I was on 28 different medications.  I was on medication for the side effects of my medications.  I had no way to know where my actual symptoms ended and where the pills started.  I had been diagnosed with POTS, Fibromyalgia,  and Myalgic Encephalomyelitis.  The Doctors were also screening for Continue reading “Oh the questions…”

“I’ve misplaced the nothing box”

~Joel Hewitt~ while high 

Homeward Bound

We  are on our way home from D.C. today. We actually left last night. My in laws left yesterday morning, but the kids and I, my sister-in-law, and her housemate all stayed to tour the Holocaust Museum. 

Just getting out of D.C. last night was a nightmare because all our experience so far this week was headed north to the campground. Last night however, we were attempting to head east during commuter traffic, something we hadn’t tried, and GPS was failing us. The dumb thing kept recalculating, telling us to turn the wrong way down roads that were one ways, and on top of that, during certain times you can’t turn at most intersections because of heavy traffic patterns during rush hour. We persevered though, and we got out.

Anyway, we are done y’all. We are ready to be home. My kids got out of the truck and just left their toys on the ground. Even the toys are done! The horses just gave up and laid down right there on the pavement.

Shabbat Shalom. Have a happy rest. We will. We are almost to our beds!


Let me paint you a picture. 

We are in D.C. We are a group of twelve. Two strollers, an eight year old, a nine year old, two over fifty, and two with physical disibilities. The nine year old is wearing a leash on her belt because she has autism, and she has such bad anxiety she becomes a flight risk. She also becomes non verbal and pretends she is a cat.
This is my oldest daughter. I love her dearly , and this is her story.

So we are walking up to the Museum of American History on the Smithsonian campus. There are people all around. And there is a guy walking  up and down the walkway next to us selling water and Gatorade. We walk past a little girl feeding crumbs to birds, and my daughter, who has been acting like a cat for months, chasing birds, meowing, licking her paws …well, you get the idea, she reaches out and grabs a bird in one swipe. SERIOUSLY! 

And what’s more, to true cat form she turned to me and said “MOM, Look, I Got it. Mission accomplished!” I thought maybe it was dead or something, there was no way she caught a live bird. I told her to put it down. Especially since it was upside down with its head sideways. But when she let go, it flew away. IT JUST FLEW AWAY!

Seriously y’all, my nine year old autistic daughter caught a bird today in D.C. because she thinks she is a cat. And guess what? After today, I believe her, she has some mad ninja skills man. I mean… er …uh… cat reflexes!


So a lighting bug decided to play chicken with my truck. It exploded and  left a glowing splotch on the windshield. This conversation followed.

Daughter one: just what I always wanted!

Me: a life just died today. How could you say that?

Daughter one: Mom, don’t think of it that way. Think of it as a kiss from heaven.

I love her so much!

Crossing the street

So we are trying to find a cross-walk when my sister says let’s just cross here. Daughter one (sounding super offended) exclaims, “That would be J walking.” Daughter two, matter of factly said, “and we all know that stand for Jerk walking.”

Oh Vey. I jusy might die, I’m laughing so hard.